CONFLICTS AT WORK
One of my colleagues at work is always instigation a conflict or provoking other colleagues with her aggressive behavior.
Each of us has opportunities to use our influence to bring about productive negotiations. Ensuring that the weak and the unrepresented sit as equals at the table is just the first step, of course. As Thirdsiders, we often need to remain involved so that the parties reach an equal agreement - and carry it out. Someone to balance the power between a weaker employee and someone more powerful inside the organization, such as a supervisor, so that the issue - racial discrimination, sexual harassment, or less serious matters - can be fairly addressed and a resolution fully implemented.
With the actions of this co-worker I can use Non-Violence Communication skills because we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others, and to identify and clearly articulate what “is alive in us”. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, needed, and wanted, rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion. Through its emphasis on deep listening, to ourselves as well as others, Non-Violence Communication fosters respect, attentiveness and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart. The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative. Nonviolent Communication skills will assist you in dealing with major blocks to communication such as demands, diagnoses and blaming.
Gloria, aggressive behavior from a colleague has to be really challenging and totally unprofessional. I agree that you can use NVC to diminish the negative communication; however, I’m concerned that a display of that magnitude needs to be reported to HR. No one should work in a environment where other peers have to protect you from a staff person. Maybe there needs to be a group intervention where everyone uses the 3R’s and NVC to deter that behavior from the aggressor. Limits and boundaries need to be set from everyone involved.
ReplyDeleteHi Gloria,
ReplyDeleteI have problems with my coworkers as well. I have also come a long way from caregiver to director. However, with your situation the person has a lot of aggression toward others and she might be in the wrong line of work. If she is provoking with others she may be awful to the children. Showing respect and listen to her side of the story might not be the answer.